I've been trying to figure out how to say this without being egotistic for the last two days. I think I'm gonna come out and just blah, though, because I feel like its something worth mentioning.

Friday, I got up and spotted the white shirt in my closet I had bought a week earlier, and decided to wear it with light pants. Yeah, sounds gay allready. But from my point of view, when I looked in the mirror after doing my hair and whatever else, I had never seen myself look better. I was amazed, I almost became narcissus. ..my point being that looking as good as I thought I did on friday, it really helps my personality along as well. I find that looking good also makes you feel confident, and to be quite honest, a bit cocky. And being cocky in situations I would normally feel timid in, well, thats a big advantage. I came up with ideas on friday (to do, mind you) that I never would have considered in my wildest dreams on a normal day. And all because I thought I looked good. I wish I could extend something like that to every day.

today started out great. psh. today is great. its just i dont got that mood. the last three periods of today were HORRIBLE. I spent most of them sitting around trying to find someone to talk to x(. something i HATE doing. to top it off, i couldnt find ANYBODY after school. so i just went home. talk about a horrible end of week.

so now i'm at me gramma's. i just want school to start up again really. i have no motivation to go into the weekend. its gonna be a crummy weekend because i left school in a crummy way. yea.. whatever tho. Sometimes i forget that god's looking down on me right now. He's giving me a time to shine, and I'm wasting it in depression. It'd be cool if I had a chance to do something crazy. I almost did today. I was a minute off from doing something crazy cool. Whatever.

Ttyz~James.

Wow. this week keeps gettin better and better. I'm back on track. Makin new friends, getting rid of my (too)arrogant side, and most importantly keepin it happy. Thats not to mention other things I've been seeing this week. Things that excite the shit outta me. Give me hope in love and happiness.. all the good stuff.

HEY! havnt posted a song's lyrics in about 2 months or so, and its about time I do so. This song is particularly touching to me right now, and its not enough I post it in this little ejournal. I want to sing it. Sing it to the world. Shout it across nations.

On Fire
They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you'll need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside me looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
And I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries
these mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me [x3]
I'm standing on the edge

And I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
(Yea) I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries...

Read 'em. They're great. And for once, I think they might apply to me.

Other things of today? I went through my private journal I keep on my PDA. Feel like posting an entry:

8/12/03
Hmm.. what to say? I sit in the middle of nowhere 200 miles from the place I belong. But then again, where do I belong? I mean the only real place I can think of is... In front of my comp I guess. I mean, school just feels awkward.. How many times have I said it? Each day my expectations are so high.. lets see.. I guess I would put it like this: I fall asleep every night with music surrounding me. Music is so perfect. Everything from the lyrics to the nots are s intentional.. and it hurts cuz I wake up and look into my mirro expecting that perfections. It aint there tho. Life isnt perfect... and i guess I just wish it was.


Deep and profound with a hint of immaturity. I still retain that immaturity though, its nothing new. I laugh though. I'm motivated by the change I see. The absolute optimism I experience that has blossomed out of a time half a year ago.

The most depressing thing ever? Romance shows. They get you all worked up. Hopeful for the romance and action you see in them. But it aint gonna happen. Sorry girls, but the more you watch those things, the worse its gonna hurt when you realize you are gonna have to settle quite a bit farther down the ladder. It even hurts me to see that stuff. Another reason not to watch TV.

yea, i'm gonna stop the contemplation series while i got it going.

i read over the love entry (2 ago) and it is truly one of the most heartfelt things ive ever written. i'd like to acknowledge how much i feel for it.

i got the switchfoot album the other day. its pretty pimp. highlights are "this is your life", promoting chaging yourself to like yourself more, "on fire", your typical beautiful beautiful love song, and "the beautiful letdown" about being a mistake and how to fix it.

~dont got much to say today. or maybe i do, i just dont want to think about it.

Emotion, life, and self. Three things that are intimately connected but still far apart in meaning and significance.

Emotion is essential in my life nowadays. Its my driving force, my motivation. It’s the feeling of happiness that I get from the activities I do that keep me doing those activities. And its those activities that keeps me motivated to wake up every morning.

And the greatest thing about emotion is that its controllable. Think happy thoughts, and you have a positive emotion flowing through your body. Think pessimistically, and the whole world will start to get darker. I just don’t understand people who are always depressed. Its just so damn easy to stay happy. Then again, maybe those people prefer depression, as it is a feeling, and noone ever said there was anything wrong with it.

I’ll be straightforward: Death scares me. The thought that someday I will cease to exist… is frightening in the least. Theres so many questions, so many questions just about what will happen to my consciousness that I shiver in confusion sometimes. Whenever I contemplate life, or lack thereof, I always end up more confused then I start. So maybe its best I don’t try. Wouldn’t it be cool to understand it though?

And the greatest confusion of all comes from ones own self. I used to think that changing yourself was something necessarily bad. That becoming a different person was disgraceful or something. And in someways it is. It’s cowardly, of course, to run from yourself; and its confusing to your friends and family. But think of the benefits. If I can be the person I’ve always wanted to be by just changing my views and attitudes in this world. If I can slowly change myself into what I view as the super-person who has all the friends, girls, and whatever else; why wouldn’t I? It’s a controversial subject, but I personally think the benefits of modifying ones personality far outweigh the negatives.

I must be honest. I’m going through a phase. If you havnt noticed it, now you know. I’m realizing things, seeing paths I’ve never noticed before. This kind of thing has happened.. one.. two.. three.. four.. five.. yea, five times in my life before this. It always ends up in modifying the way I am as a person to better suit my own needs, and I’m so optimistic right now about the things that have been happening in the last month that I could jump for joy. Its like a growth spurt, I’ve learned more about life in general in the last month than the rest of the year combined. A LOT more.

And to be quite honest, right now I feel lucky. I feel like the luckiest man alive. Despite bad things left and right, the good things that surround me right now are overwhelming. I feel like I can jump every obstacle in life’s long path. These changes.. they’re so great that I hardly believe they’re coming for me every once and awhile.

And theres your reasoning. The reason I put down my “contemplation”s now. I want to preserve my mindset as it is now, and see how it changes in the future.

I love this journal.
~James.

What has love become to me? A playtoy?
It seems I throw it around with no basis whatsoever. When I say no basis, I'm not being hypothetical. I mean I look for nothing in a girl. I dont care about hotness, about personality. nothing. The only thing I have in my crushes is a hunch. Hope.

Since when is love something we look for? Ive been in love once and now I somehow assume its something I can find? I think I'm beginning to forget the fact that love is supposed to start between friends. I love my friends, but I've yet to get a girl(friend) who I like enough to push it to the next level.

Or maybe... maybe I'm just comfortable with hopeless.

What happened to the me who knew love? Did I ever know it? Of course I did. I just fear that the love I speak of was superficial. That I "made myself" be in love last year. It was something I made myself believe in. It certainly wasnt spontaneous.

Funny, I'm searching for spontaneity.

Yea, you all probably guessed. It all boils down to kiwi. Somehow shes like a magnet to me. Of all three crushes, she has the greatest affect on me, like physics and magnets. Its insane, its absurd, and oddly enough, unjustified. Lately I've managed to reduce the crushing (literally) effect she has on me, but its still there, I still convince myself sometimes I'm in love. I guess I just dont get the point of crushes anymore. They're materialistic and have no moral basis. Why do I bother liking a girl I hardly know?

For kiwi.. I think I know the answer. But its a stupid one. Hard to put into words.. its just like we always seem to be on the same level. She always seems to know what I'm thinking. When I talk to her she doesnt even have to hear me to know what I'm saying. Speaking from the standpoint that not many people understand me.. maybe this is what attracts me to her.

Funny I still use nicknames. Kiwi knows exactly who she is. Well, either that or people normally spend class periods in eyelocks. I guess the reason I use these stupid entities is to protect myself. Keep myself exactly where I am, not involved, for as long as possible.

Dont get me wrong. I'm far from depressed. In fact, right now I have quite an optimistic outlook. I made some resolutions today, which are pointless in stating because resolutions are only as good as the actions go.

Inspiration for my spill: Walking By by Something Corporate.

i have alot to say, but i cant do it all right now cuz my parents are monitoring. so ill stretch this entry and add on to it tommorow.

saturday was cool. saturday was great. the first people arrived right on time around 12:00 but tyler didnt bring over the switch and tables until 1:00. So we played games on the TV for an hour. Heh, it was pretty funny cuz the entire party, which took place in my garage, was pretty much a hybrid: the entire upstairs of my house brought downstairs (speakers, cushions, couches, tvs, tables, comps, recievers) and all of the stuff tyler keeps packed away for lan parties. so we were pretty much more or less co-hosting this party. i have to say that being a host isnt as much fun as just attending a party. you have to keep an eye out for everybody and you really cant have too much fun for yourself cuz you g2 talk to everyone.. or at least thats what i felt like.

the day part of the party (up to 6:00) consisted of four or five people playin console games, and the rest of us playing HALO on the comps. bila and natty for the majority of the party, (except when i got natty & bila to play halo on the console) just talked among themselves and ransacked my house. I'm sure you'll all hear about the naked dolls i have in my closet xP - thats the kind of thing closets are supposed to hold tho, rite?

dinner was pretty good, if i say so myself. my dad did some excellent hot dogs, and the pizza(s) from cosco were real good. and the birthday cake was good too. personally, i like cheesecakes and pies, but you cant split either of those between 15 people, so yea.

after dinner things got crazier. natty and bila co-surfed the web (cuz i got it working for everybodies comp), while me and calvin proceeded to spam everybody else computers with such nasty entities as goatse, lemonparty, and tubgirl. (if you dont know, trust me, you dont wanna know). after that, everybody played some strategy games for the remainder of the party. this was my personal favorite time, cuz i like strategy :D ~specially when i own people!

presents. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU all who bought me presents. i didnt even ask for em and you got me em anyways. i was joking today, saying that i got 16 hours worth of pay at mcdonalds from 2 hours of setting up and putting away party stuff (sofas, tables, cleaning up trash). i feel bad cuz natty left and i forgot to open her present. THANK YOU FOR THE LP CD'S NATTY!! SWEETNESS!! YOU'RE THE BEST!

now as for an extension on that thought: today (sunday) i went to bestbuy and borders to extend my music collection. i ended up getting john mayers "heavier things", dashboard confessionals "a mark, a mission, a brand, a scar", and the used's "maybe memories". all three are totally tite albums, and now i got a whole entorage of music thats legit to listen to, as well as about 3 hours of band coverage from the meteora album and "maybe memories" (which is incredible, btw).

anyhow, after the party things cooled down. i personally raped both shohile and thanos simeaultaneously and calvin took pics, so that should turn out well. and after calvin left, me and tyler played starcraft while thanos and shohile watched the godfather. it was the funniest thing youve ever seen, cuz thanos does the best imitations.. THE BEST.. and he was dancing around to rap songs too.. ahh.. i couldnt stop laughing for nearly an hour. added on to that is the fact that thanos and shohile can communicate with each other through the words "john doe", using different tones and volumes. its all too great to have them in the same room as you. too bad they couldnt stay the nite :(

so yea, everybody left by 11:00 and i was so tired that (TMI coming) i just conked out on my bed without even taking a shower or taking my clothes off.

SUNDAY:
i had work from 8 to 4 today. at first it was tiresome and i was really depressed for some reason. probably not enough sleep. but as the day went on i got happy enough. i like talking to people. specially random ones. also, i saw two extremely hot hot flaming hot chicks today. it was cool, despite the fact that i look horrible with a baseball cap on.

after work i got home, cleaned up the garage, and watched some of the album footage. i feel crummy cuz i havnt done alot of homework this weekend. well... to be completely honest, i havnt touched anything. but i dont remember having anything either.... :( i hate not having work.

i opened my presents from my grandparents and parents. from my mom and dad i got this tite leather jacket, but i g2 wait another day to wear it cuz it was too big and my mom is gonna return it tommorow (hopefully). i LOVE the smell of leather. i was gettin high off of john's leather jacket in 6th period almost every day last week.

AND THEORY: (ill save this for tommorow)

ok guys, lets get back into the KIH 'tude. sure that feelin's pingin my insides, but who gives? i have several reasons to be happy:

brooklyn pizza, for it makes the best italian food ever.
math class, for in it i do nothing at all and have lotsa fun.
my car, which gets me places with fun things in between (like puddles)
rain, which smells and tastes great, and cleans everything off.
lightning, which separates the cowards from the rest.
clothes, for making me look good and feel better.
parents, for turning themselves around and letting me have my way every once and awhile.
my room, and all the beautiful things in it.
the simpsons, for they are the greatest comedians of all time.
tomorrow, the next day, and all days following; for the optimism i see in them.

optimism is great. and since everybody nowadays is a pessimist, i feel like a non-conformist.

this'll stay a short entry. i have the urge to take a guilt trip right now, but i think ill turn the steering wheel a little to the right.
~James.

whats up guys?
ever had that feeling where you desperately want to be happy.. well, you know you should be happy, but you just cant be for some reason? Ya, today i wasnt really keepinithappy. 0 period was fun, 1st was cool, 2nd was okay, 3rd was a bomber, 4th a depressor, 5th a killer, and 6th pretty damn good.

its worth mentioning that 6th period today (stevens) was CRAZY. for half an hour in which i was supposed to be doing homework (which i never do during that time), tyler spent 10 minutes destroying three of my pencils in the varocious sharpeners this school has, and then i complained to mrs stevens about the biased grading of my homework she was doing, and tyler proceeded to tear up the homework i was complaining about. then mrs stevens made me pick up all the pieces of homework tyler had strewn everywhere. by the time that was done we had five minutes left and me and jr and tyler just sat around and made fun of mrs stevens. talk about an efficient use of time. and yet i still got that feelin on the back of my head.

I dunno. I guess its a combo of looking into colleges.. but what chance do I have there? I'm probably gonna go to a community college so i can at least get into ucla or something in a few years ..the continuing drama of crushes, which hits real hard in the season o' love, and the fact that ive for some reason grown a liking to the song "wheel" my mayer, which is depressing but optimistic.

Optimistic depression? Is that an oxy-moron? I think it best describes what I'm feelin right now. Just walking halfway across the campus gives me a reason to live, as so many people have for some reason chosen to get to know me very well, and god-willing, care about me. Not to mention the fact that my situation with girls has drastically improved from last semestre allready. I cant wait to see what the future will hold for me. But then again, theres that eternally-empty spot. The one you envy people for not having. Yea, I learned a month ago that without that spot, my will to live kinda disappears, but life would be alot more exciting without it. Did that make any sense?

I'm always talking about songs I can relate to, heres a song i cant: "home life" in which mayer sings about how he wants to settle down with someone. As much as I want a girlfriend, and as deep as my three crushes go, I think that even with a girlfriend I'd still be pushing on to make and break more relationships. I aint ready to settle down, I just started moving.

what up peoples? in honor of the physics test i failed, todays entry comes chock full of my twisted physical theories.

time is infinite. so is the universe. and we're all just a bunch of molecules arranged at the right places at the right times. (yea, agonistic, but what can i say) so its very logical to say that in the infinity of time, we will be reborn again (because if time is infinite, we will eventually be remade, that is to say, our molecule rearranged exactly the same) an infinite number of times in an infinite number of situations. This is my hope and religion in life: I'll experience everything life can ever offer me: good and bad, SOMETIME. though i may not remember anything, I will exist again and again and again. So get used to me.
//NOTE FOR J SUNG: I modified this theory to comply with the fact that the universe will eventually die, but due to my belief in the reoccuring big bang, I can just modify the theory a little bit. ask me.

heres another idea: i read something on one of our scientists a few days ago seeing a galaxy some 150 billion light years away. Do you realize what that means? We are seeing that galaxy from the time-perspective of 150 billion years ago. That sparked something, Einstein is right. EVERYTHING is relative. When I talk to a person or watch some girl across the room, I'm not seeing what that girl/hearing what that person is saying as of NOW, but seeing back in time a little bit. That person is actually a small small small fraction of a second ahead of me due to the slowness of speed and light. wow. thats cool to me. i know, i'm a nerd :D

and my best idea for the day: why dont we make a bunch of robots do our jobs for us and make food and stuff and we can sit on the couch all day long and play video games. wouldnt that be cool? sure, we could pause every once and awhile for the massive orgy or splurge on food, but thats it. sex, food, and entertainment. everybody would be happy. except for the robots. but who cares about them? xP

yea. i'm a nerd.
~james.

So.. how'd it go...?

Woke up this morning to a nice little reminder on my PDA's calender thing. Apparently today is "Diane Abapo's anniversery". Heh, i remember typin that baby in about 9 months ago in mr wekalls class. (that guy was a great teacher.. too bad he's gone x( ) Anyhow, its cool that that little popup only interested me enough to put it in this journal. No backwards twisting heartaches or whatever. Moreso, i think ill leave the date in there, never wanna forget your first love, rite?

Work today.. pretty cool. not as fun as yesterday though. See, yesterday was church day, so there was a steady/slow stream of customers, and i got to have conversations with lots of them. Today there was a flood of people, so for most people, i was doin the "gimme your money, heres your food, get out of my face" thing. which isnt my preference. i did have a bunch of people laugh at my constant complaining to my manager, who decided to work me for 6 hours straight and give me an hours worth of breaks all in the last 2 hours of my working period... heh. i love that dude (my manager xD)

Out of analysis of the people I ring up, I've come up with the following VERY blatant statistics:
1/3 of all people are outgoing, funny, and playful people.
1/3 are timid and shy, and you have to pull things out of them
1/3 are strict/religious, serious assholes that you want nothing to do with.
interesting interesting interesting.. only sometimes its hard to pick out assholes. and you feel stupid when you try to make a joke for an asshole..

so thats it.. i think? oh, i wanted to mention that a really cool song is "something's missing" by mr. mayer. Yea. i was humming that all day at work. And the lyrics are super tyte.

~james.

PSPSPS:
annabelle posted teh pics from winterformal. for some reason her flash on her camera worked when i fell on bila, but decided to not work when i was being serious... i wonder if thats just a coincidink? xP

Hey hey, how ya doin?
Hey hey, how ya doin??

Today was... better than yesterday. and thats always good :D
I got cashier at work today the whole day. Thats my favorite job cuz theres nobody pushin your ass into gear to get things done and you have time to have conversations with your nice customers. You wouldnt believe all the fun people you meet :D :D
Highlights:
-A woman who was deaf mute. Not an insult at all, she was really cool actually. She just came in like any other customer, took out a pen, and wrote down her order. I was havin a pen-convo with her! It was super super fun!
-The asian gangsta'. I LOVE these dudes. They're like the epitome of non-gangster'ism, but if you insult them they got high tech ak-47's in their jackets. you know the type, super upper body strength, dressed in white with all kinds of chains and stuff hanging off of them. They are one cool crew :D
-The two old women who gave me a dollar after I put a penny into their order. HA! thats profits at its best! (speaking of which, i g2g salvage that dollar outta my pocket!)

In other news, I went around advertising for my computer repair/installation company, neoviper (neoviper.net HAS changed since you last saw it). put fliers in 40 mailboxes in the neighborhood. i'll do 40 more tommorow. I'm expectin' MAJOR profits here... heh.

after that beautiful love concert, i've decided i wanted to learn to sing, if not excellently, just be able to be bearable to listen to. and ive chosen my first target: tigerlily by matchbook romance. i can sing with that song with excellence, and it doesnt sound really gay like it normally does when i sing. :D yay! now i just g2 get that classic guitar out from under my bed and learn how to play the song (which is acoustic, and i got the tabs xD) .. and i'll be set for the romance! sweeeeet.

AND.. i know last week had a rant-day. but i wanna rant about taking non-conformism to an extreme. Karl Marx is an example of this. He came along and realized that all the sensible, nonconformist beliefs had been taken, so he made a new, stupid as hell form of government that no one could ever sensibly maintain: communism. another example? doing homework in the dark because thats what everybody else doesnt do.

now.. good nonconformism? heres some examples:
-Kicking those bastardous rioters in front of the grocery stores in the balls every once and awhile.
-Spitting on your food and then eating it.
-Peeing sitting down.
-Listening to music thats too low in volume.
-(thank you natty)eating meat products because they'll probably contain mad cow disease.

now a note on the internet. as you all may have well figured out, 75% of what i put in this journal of myn is pure bullshit and intended for its readers pleasure. let me say this loud and clear: the internet is not the place for seriousness. I've read way way WAY too many posts about those poor girls with those sad sad SAD boyfriends (yes, worse than me even!:D!) that are all depressed because their boyfriends broke up with them OVER THE INTERNET!? jeese. thats just messed up. the internet and the phones shouldnt be used in the context of serious relationships. nothing on the internet should be taken seriously because half of it is one big friggin joke. jeese.

good ideas, no? i got to go though. have fun y'allz!
~james.

Stayed home today sick. Screw the fact I didnt have a temp, my mom was bein specially lovin' so i took advantage of it. Slept till 1:30 and I feel much better thank you very much.

Listenin' to some John Mayer. Really fits the moment: sick mentally and emotionally stuck in a house that always seems to be closing itself around me. The smooth jazzlike music makes the walls seem a bit farther apart. Makes me more comfortable. I'm enjoyin myself :D
I mean:
How can everything I need,
Come with batteries?
Beautiful. Creative. Genious.

Love concert yesterday that I actually bothered to go to. Highlights (to me) are as follows: brian eager and his awesome bass voice, justine tan is an AWESOME singer, bila shocked me by somehow being able to remember lyrics in russian(?) and singing them as if she were a natural, and marie bucoy showed off her talents at piano AND signing AND composing. the girl diane played with also did a pretty good job at singing a song by one of the greatest singers of all time (biased, i know): Dido.

Aint it ironic how:
Words never really matter, but we put so much trust in them.
Love is neither romantic nor spontaneous.
Life never lets you stop living.
No matter how little you try, you always have the same obstacles.
Music, words, are so effective on our souls.
Actions show our character, but never are noticed.
No matter how hard you try, you will always live the same.
Enetation decides to be gay on rant day xP

So there ya go. Really. Its over. Really. Really. Really.
Love yaz !~ James.

Today's rant day. If you want some blatent hardcore rant though, you're gonna have to go somplace else.. like Foamy's place.

First off: disease. Whats up with this sickness they call the cold that makes you feel miserable but doesnt get you outta school? Its just wrong. I cant even friggin talk right, but I'm still in school. Its just stupid.

Second: money. Why do "value" meals cost $5.00 today and almost all other food cost > $2.00??? thank god for ceasers.

Third: Drive Thru's. Now I'm a fast food worker, and i personally know that its REALLY hard to screw up a small order by not putting an item in unless your customer is stupid and drives off before you give them their food (which some idiots do btw). how can you mess up an order for TWO PEOPLE??? just put TWO FRIES AND TWO BURGERS IN. god.. some people.. i have to drive 10 extra miles because somebody doesnt know how to serve.

Fourth: District Writing Prompts. WHAT THE HELL??? the prompt asks "analyze how the author feels in this article". how in the heck are we to write an essay on HOW SOMEONE FEELS? that stupid writer probably only wrote the essay because he wanted money. i can smell the bullshit flowing out the essay as he describes the exagerrated reactions of people to daisies and concrete. god. and we're supposed to analyze the feelings of these yellow press bastards.

And finally: Girls. Why cant they act normal? They are neither logical nor emotional, so I'm yet to find what in the heck they are.

And to end it on a sweeter note, I'm gonna give y'all this song. Its called "The Hero Dies in This One" by the Ataris, and I'm pretty sure I mentioned it before, but i'm too lazy to go and check. This is one of those songs you just skip over at first because it sounds ok but it doesnt really appeal to the immediate gratification thing that i (we?) have. As you listen to it over and over though, you realize what the lyrics are saying, you start to notice all the intonations, the clever usage of screams for 5 seconds (only used twice in the entire album) to intone the single meaning of the song - "stay who you are". this is one of those songs that i quiver too. the lyrics, so heartfelt; the song, so fitting. it is fitting rite up there with "on my own" by the used, "breaking the habit" by lp and "darkness" by disturbed. its beautiful.

yea, for my birthday, if you wanna get me something. get me an album. i want "so long astoria" (hint hint from that song ^) and some LP albums (which i think natty has covered)

A revelation founded upon WF:
its not all about Kiwi, its just about hot azn girls.
But there are no hot azn girls in any of my classes...
Besides Kiwi.
Shit.

Today was long on da job, but i had a cash drawer to myself the whole day, so it wasnt entirely boring. Got to meet all da ladies that came in xD

Natty reminded me: party @ 5505 Vista Cantora (phone 1-714-692-0912) from 12:00 to 8:00 no lunch but there will be dinner. and leave me a comment or tell me or whatever if you're gonna show up and who you'll bring (if anybody) cuz i wanna know. Thx :D

ttyz all
~James

(ps. there's to many james' nowadays. heh, cant even tell which one everybody is referring too. but we're all cool. we should all form a "james gang". that would be tite =D )

Winter Formal, the top of the weekend, was pretty cool. Bila was absolutely beautiful and the dance itself was sweet. Dinner however... *shakes head* Just like after hc, everything seems all surreal for some reason. I need a day in school to get myself straightened out. Just ask me for more details. Something for me to talk about xP

Yesterday I worked 7 hrs and today i'm goin in for another 8.. aiii. so tired. but ill make it through :D

Three more people comin to da party:
Herschel P
Justin E
Bila B (?)

Apparently at the esperanza winter sports assembly a massive dildo was thrown on the floor. It flopped around during the school anthem and apparently the singers all decided to add the line "theres a dildo on the dance floor!" to the alma mater. we troy students miss out on everything :)

I'm feelin jiggy with it. All thanks to a little compliment called caffeine and sugar. Three barrels full of coke'll make ANYBODY happy just as the likewise of beer will make anybody sexy. *shivers* Coke is ambrosa. my lifeforce. i mean, come on. look at its name, coke=cocaine. its like fuggin cocaine. its all good and addicting and makes you feel HAPPY! yay. without all the bad side effects and 100% chance of death of course. even more yay.

new peeps for the party: (i'm obviously forgetting some people)
Justin S
Andrew C (?)
Billy W

MORE MORE MORE! SIGN UP NOW!

i think i'll step back from the more emo stuff.

BEST pick up line ever for a chick with a cell:
"Who in the hell do YOU talk to on that thing?"

more matchbook romance sweetness comes in the form that towers finally has the 'west for wishing' ep. thank god. no other place ive been to (and ive tried... 9 superstores) has had it. this puts tower back on my list of record stores that pwn.

my fat cat (not my daughter) has been wandering around downstairs for a few days. this is odd cuz she normally stays upstairs and sleeps. i asked my mom why and she said "oh, she's probably hungry" and we both walked away ~ how mean we are to our fat, overfed animals xP

and for those of you coo peeps who read my blog:
PARTY AT MY PLACE DA 21st!
technically its a birthday party, but then again, i dont want presents, so its not a birthday party. just come. it'll be cool.

Current list:
Ravi T
Tyler H, Tyler O
Shohile K
Thanos R
Brian H
Sam C
Da Sol K
Dmitriy F
Anthony M
Natasha D
Calvin A
Steve
Daniel A
soo lets keep the list comin! leave a comment!

da boobie game! courtesy of zelibe yea.. they start gettin overly large after D. just goes to prove that there IS such a thing as too much tit, too little body :D

cool. i got my matchbook romance tee. sweetness!

i think ive had a revelation: the cause of teenage sadness is highschool. working at the golden arches and laughing at the dude when he asks EVERY customer in the drive through if they want cookies is carefree. i dont worry about jack shit. no crushes, friends, popularity, none of that shit to deal with. maybe life outside of high school wont be that bad.