I just cant tell you how much it means to me to have school do what its supposed to: teach. Example: Fournell's class today was absolutely enthralling. Yea, I'm a nerd, but one of the first NEW things I've heard in a long time was his discussion on economics and how the great depression had come about. He proved some of my existing theories about money and the stock market and taught me new ones, such as the consequences of over-speculation. Another thing that drifts to the top of my mind is the study of electricity. I'm slowly starting to peice everything together. I'm starting to understand exactly what a battery is, exactly how capacitors and resistors work together. Aside from one more topic, my knowledge from electrical basis to computer software is almost complete; and as we all know, having all the knowledge available in a field is very important.
::Summary: Learning is cool.

About journals. Mr Blake the other day in one of his crazy awesome tangents called journal sites "the weirdest obsession [he's] ever seen". For most cases, I agree. People who use journals to try to get messages across to other people.. weird and abnormal. People who use journals to gain popularity.. stupid. People who write sincerely in their journals so that they may leave memories for themselves in years to come.. not only justified, but, I think, incredibly smart. After hooking myself up with a certain journal a few minutes ago, I realized what I really like reading in blogs.

I dont care what people did during the day, just depresses me cuz I wasnt a part of it.
I dont care about how you're doing in school, or how that teacher pisses you off.
I dont care about the home life I cant relate to.
I'm intrigued by a though flow. The simple translation of rapid emotional thoughts into words. The insight into somebodies emotional and personal life.

Us guys dont get enough of that stuff. I'm always amazed because girls seem to always know who's going out with who, who likes who, and everything else about every other girl. I didnt realize until a month ago that it's because they dont stop sharing their lives. They give anything and everything, bad and good, cry and smile. In a way I'm jealous, but not really. I have KIH, its all I need; that and some other people to relate with.

Which reminds me. I think I've made a big mistake in making the two people that know my one deepest secret also two people I'm really one way or another incapable of talking about it with. With Natty it just feels awkward somehow. Cant explain it, but it feels like she doesnt really give a shit anymore. And Fingy.. well I never talk to him, and when I do I feel guilty for bringing up something I have that he doesnt, a crush. I also feel selfish both ways for steering a conversation into something I want to talk about to benefit myself. I need someone a bit more two-sided. Someone I could share insights with, in other words, someone who's going through the same thing I am.

Nevertheless, I stand by my belief that music is one of the best expressions of emotion ever. That's why I sing the songs I really like, I can really relate to. Its funny how I often sing to a song even though I dont even realize what I'm singing. And it ends up being something I love. The music I listen to, one way or another, reflects the mood I'm in, often times as well as exactly what I'm doing. For example, today my song is "The Story So Far" by New Found Glory (I love the lead singers voice. Not in a gay way, its just real cool). It's funny how well I think I can relate to that song, but then again maybe (like psychic predictions) I've just twisted my thoughts around to fit the lyrics.

Nevertheless, I cant wait till the world turns over. I'll be waiting with my heart open, as its never been since last year.