Friends in high school are great. There's no questioning that. Me and Calvin, for example, are like the perfect pair. When we got some sugar in our stomachs and a taste for disaster, we can crack up ourselves and anybody around. The same thing is true with me and JR. We're crazy and random. And it's fun. I smile every moment I'm with people I love talking to, and I feel great for a little while after talking to them.

But no matter who you are, no matter what, you're bound to be separated from your friends at one point in time or another. And at that time, what do you do? Speaking for myself, I cant live off of the smiles that my friends give me. They make me laugh and smile outwardly, and most importantly they make me forget, but when the hammer hits down, I'm still thinking about the one thing that bothers me day and night: my problems relationship-wise. I havnt smiled inside since... since.. probably winter break.

And leaving school altogether for spring break doesnt help it in the least. At least right now I can look forward to going to school, to talking to friends, to having a fun time. What in the hell am I to do for a whole week? I'll tell you that 50% of the time will most likely be spent in depression worrying about money, grades, girls and all the rest. I just dont understand people who want to get out of school. Personally going home for me more or less means doing homework, studying, and sitting in front of a computer screen trying to have fake relationships online. I've long since cut off everything that has to do with me online, besides this journal. You wont and dont see me often on AIM, emailing, or in the forums because its just retarded. THE INTERNET IS NOT THE REAL WORLD. SORRY, BUT YOU CANT LOVE SOMEONE OVER A LINE.

So what am I supposed to do over spring break. I've made my plans, sounds like theres going to be one maybe two LAN parties, sounds like me calvin margie and sam are gonna go have lunch together, sounds like i'm gonna go tour a few colleges (by myself). What about the extra 40+ hours that I'm gonna spend by myself? I live in Yorba Linda, half an hour away from anybody worth knowing. Diane doesnt speak to me, Shohile's been a retard to me lately, Chris and I barely talk anymore, and I hardly know Kim. So the only person that I can ever do anythign with is Tyler. But chances are he's gonna go somewhere. So there. Stuck in a house for 40+ hours doing nothing. Contemplating my own misery. God I hate life out of school.