Sadies is today. I regret, as I did last year, not going. From what I hear, its the funnest of all dances cuz there's tons of floats and rides and stuff. In other words, it isnt really a dance :D . Anyhow, next year I guess. The worst part about it is I have to put up with all these girls talking about how FUN it was next week. Yay. Haha. Hope everyone I know that's going has fun.

I cant wait until I'm out of this house, free of all the bonds. I cant wait until I can go out of the house at 11:00 at night and not feel in the least bit guilty. I cant wait until I can make my own decisions without my parents breathing down my neck.

Dont get me wrong, I'm not the one to complain. They spend over a thousand dollars on me a year for food, presents, gas and the like. I appreciate that, I truly do. I still just wish they'd give me a little more leeway.

They tell me all the time that they cant trust me and that's the reason for them not giving me freedom. On my own part, I guess I've done a good job bringing that about. I've lied to them in several instances. But I'm a terrible liar, and almost always get caught. I have to say though, if they never allow me to do anything.. if they never give me any leeway, how can I prove myself trustworthy? How can I gain their trust BACK?

I guess I'll just sit back and wait. As with almost everything else in my life. They tell me this summer I will get alot of freedom, but I somehow doubt it. Whenever I bring it up I end up getting in a huge argument and I end up having to get on my knees and give into them.

I hate loosing face. x(
Guess it's one of the most courageous things a proud man like me can do in today's peaceful world, though.