I am so sick. I lived through this day in misery, and the only relaxation I got was a half hour where I could drink coke at in-n-out (carbonated water feels really good on sore throats). It was really hard to fall asleep last night because my throat hurt and I couldnt breath through my nose and I couldnt get comfortable no matter how much I shifted positions. Even with cold medicine, I still felt pretty shitty. It was actually pretty funny in that I woke up early this morning - I knew because it was still dark out - and before I looked at my clock I guessed that it was about 4:00. It was 4:30, how did I know? The cold medicine I'm taking lasts only 8 hours and I had taken it the night before at 8:00. Hehe, interesting how I can measure time with my own misery. Anyhow, I hate being sick. But I'm going to persist. Must...not...take...a.....sick....day...

I have this huge moral dilemna right now. It has to do with biology, and all that we're learning. I cant help but wondering every single day - maybe we shouldnt learn about this? Maybe we shouldnt know that our bodies are made up of billions of molecules of carbon and oxygen and hydrogen and maybe we shouldnt know how ATP is synthesized and how we are completely reliant on the fact that an electron has to move down four levels of proteins unblocked to complete chemiosmosis. Am I wrong in thinking that this all demoralizes the state of the human condition? It reduces us to matter, it leads us to realize that we are nothing, that every tidbit of existence we know probably doesnt exist in the first place. That we are experiencing the world as a bunch of electrons see it, not as it really is, and that we're helpless to that fate.

See, I'm rambling, but I'm rambling about life being pointless. And this is what I think about whenever I get immersed in bio. It's actually kinda unnerving. Very unnerving.