I read yesterday in the bio book during a particularly long and boring lecture by the infamous Mr. K (my ap biology teacher) that pain is entirely relative. Of course, I knew this before, but I found it very interesting the way the book put it in scientific terms. Sure, I've read a couple of books talking about how you can control the amount of pain you feel through meditation and self-control, but I read yesterday about how the brain doesnt even know where pain comes from for the most part. It is through learned association neurons that are developed in childhood that we truly first are able to feel pain.

It leads me to the question: where do we learn to feel the pain of love in our hearts? How does our body naturally associate what should rightfully hurt our genitalia or give us a headache with the center of our chest? Maybe it's one of those things where we unconsciously make it be, by just associating the word "broken heart" with what it physically means: a broken heart. If that makes sense.

Rightfully, I should be sad right now. There's no reason for me to be happy. But I must admit that tonight I have splurged beyond reasoning. I made myself the most massive, best dinner that I've had in longer than a month, and then I followed it up with like 20 chocolate chip cookies and ice cream and my stomach is so full right now that I dont know what to do, but I have an odd sense of complacency where I feel content with the world, although the world is hardly content with me.

I think to stave the depths of depression tommorow I'll gorge again. A couple of pancakes and a three egg omelet sounds decent. It's not like I'm gonna gain weight or anything. =D