Sup guys? God. I am tired.

A week ago I was making this left turn out onto chapman and this car passed by with this beautiful girl sitting in the passenger seat. We just made eye contact for the five seconds that it took for her car to pass mine, but it brought up one of those old feelings that seems to come and go in me: how much of this world am I missing? Nobody can possible experience everything, but I certainly wish I could sometimes. I wish I could know more people so that maybe my friendships could be more of a pick and choose thing, rather than just convienient things made to make classes go a little bit faster, if you get my drift.

My old friends havnt been impressing me alot recently. I've lost all respect for two of the most respected people in my life. One guy I've respected ever since I met him recently, but lately he has been going off on the stupidest, most trivial things. He hasnt gotten mad at me, but I dont even like the threatened feeling I get from him. If he's willing to throw off his other friendships, there's nothing stopping him from throwing of mine with him. I am not a dramatic human being, at least not with same-sex relationships, and I will not put up with shit like that.

Then there's this other dude I've respected since middle school for almost no reason at all. He has always had good grades and great morals and been a leader, and I guess that's why I respected him. But I recently go and read up on him and I realize how like me he is. He's just a stupid teenager. Like me, he makes more mistakes than he does rights, and I suddenly have no respect for him.

I hate losing respect for people. I allready have too few people to look up to, now I have two less. I guess I'm not under control of that aspect of my life, though. Anyhow, what the fuck is with this weather? I pass by the big thermometer in Yorba Linda and it was below freezing this morning. Why wont it snow? I mean, if I have to put up with weather this cold every morning (let alone my poor car, which hates cold weather), it might as well snow. I feel like I'm being cheated.

.eljay